Game & Watch Gallery

2024-12-13
I don't know if it was me or someone else who picked out this game for my 7 year old self but whoever it was fucked up. I knew I was dire straits as soon as I laid eyes on the cartridge. Compared to the vibrant box art it had no pictures. Just a bland navy background with a gold square reading "GAME & WATCH" with the bottom overlaid by a banner reading "GALLERY". Can you think of a more boring word for a 7 year old than "gallery"? Of the three words on the cartridge 2 are boring. What do you mean "watch"? Aren't "game"s for playing?

Booting it up my fears were briefly allayed. Here was Mario in the main menu, surely he couldn't betray me. Ooh and four whole games. Yes, let's play. But no after 30 minutes all the fun you could have with these 4 minigames is all you will ever have. These are games to play for a couple minutes here and there not games to sustain the diet of a growing child. The betrayal was made manifest.

I will say despite it's anemic offerings the music for Manhole low key rules.

???
A collection of old and unfun games. I only played them because I had nothing else that I hadn't already played to death. I knew I was bored if I was caught playing these because they were frustrating, ugly, and not very fun.

Fukc you game and watch, bitch