Forza Motorsport

2026-04-19
I'm sitting here trying to come up with some sort of poop or fart joke about cars and coming up blank. I know, I know this should be easy for me, it's what I'm good at. What I was born for. But Forza Motorsport with its pristine and beautifully rendered cars engenders in me such a deep sterility that humor seems to die on the tarmac.

I think that's the fundamental flaw of the very sim-y breed of racing games: they lack soul. We can all go "Oooh" and "Aaah" like we did when Microsoft first trotted Forza out on the original Xbox and agree wouldn't it be nice to stick a hot dog in the tailpipe of that big beautiful blue NSX on the cover. But then you sit down to play it and it's all a bunch of numbers and doing the same race over and over and over following that little line that tells you where to turn and brake and accelerate. In fact that line is the biggest bit of ingenuity in the series and yet represents an entire automation of the process of learning how to drive. Turn off your brain, follow the bright line, and let the sweet dulcet tones of a Lamborghini take you off to never-never land.

I lusted after Forza Motorsport as a teenager. Project Gotham Racing is a hooner's delight but I'm ready for the big leagues, I'm ready for the SIM. But it turns out simple is better than sim, PGR is better than Forza, and Forza Horizon which would be birthed a decade later is better than both.

???
Never really hooked me. The simulation was cool but I got bored of "just do a race over and over".