Grand Theft Auto IV: The Lost And Damned

2024-12-11
In 2008 I was in high school and dropping my hard earned Chinese food delivery money on DLC was just not a thing I was willing to do unless it had Elder Scrolls in front of the game's title. So sadly I missed out on this heroin-infused biker DLC of GTA IV back when it came out. And boy it has NOT aged well. Or perhaps more accurately: GTA IV has not aged well. The driving (or riding I guess), the checkpoints, the gunplay--god, the gunplay is so fucking horrific. It's funny because I played the absolute shit out of GTA IV on 360 back in the day but, man, we have come too far for that game to hold up.

And none of this has anything really to do with Johnny and his bikerboiz. Only they had to bring something to overcome the inertia of the decrepit bones they're hauling on their motorcycles. And on that count I found nothing. The story is classic GTA and foreshadows a little RDR2: chill guy has bastard boss who's trying to fuck everything up and chill guy has to help him and then stop him. I was bored immediately. They added some gang stuff around motorcycles too annnd I was bored immediately.

Anyway, I will still play the Ballad of Gay Tony because it still has one of the best titles ever and sounds like it will bring enough to the table to make me not want to drown myself in the Liberty City river.

2023-01-19
This shit feels old. After the initial nostalgia of the old driving system you realize it is just a worse version of GTA 4. And the characters and stuff in the Lost & Damned is just the same old shit as the other stories. Bastard boss with main character with a level head who's trying to steer him to a better path but it doesn't work and they take a path to hell together. And you know what the bastard boss is pretty cool. But the actual missions are such a PITA. So tedious with the bad shooting of the older games. Woof. I dunno if i'll be able to finish this lol.