Neo Scavenger

2025-11-05
I wish I could come in here and regale you with some tale of my epic journeys through post apocalypse hoboland, of the Three-Stooges-ass slapstick of the combat, of a man who acquired all the riches only to be laid low by a slippery banana peel. But at the end of the day NEO Scavenger strikes me as a wonderful idea poorly realized. A lot of people describe it as a post apocalyptic hobo simulator. Which is actually quite apt. But it’s a bit of a Monkey’s Paw description. Instead of being a fun progression of being a homeless, unclothed man with no memories fresh out of a cryo tube to being a self sufficient, powerful person in a post apocalypse–it’s really just a hobo simulator in that you start as a hobo and end as a hobo.

Now I’m sure people who are fans and know the ins and outs of the game would disagree. “You can get weapons! You can get vehicles!” Yes but while you can it seems incredibly unlikely. For one, the game is one of those obtuse games that explains nothing and either requires an absurd level of patience in experimentation and repeatedly dying OR the use of a wiki. This alone can break games for me because what is the hook if I can’t even figure my way to have fun without a wiki? Now, pair this obtuseness with RNG. I started the game several times and it was cold and rainy. You start basically nude so I had like a day or two to find clothes or die. To get resources so I don’t die I have to scavenge. And scavenging is pure RNG. Sometimes you get nothing and sometimes you get nothing and a fight with another nude wretch. So it’s an obtuse game that doesn’t even make itself easy to learn or get better. Pair that with combat that is equally obtuse, with no explanation on success chances or anything, and you just have this game that I assume is only fun once you’ve mastered it.

It’s ironic I levy these complaints at it as someone who loves Dwarf Fortress. But there I had the benefit of being indoctrinated by a longtime fan back in 2009. There I had the zealous belief that through my toiling and learning something great was on the other side. Here I just see work and text-driven hobo fights. I’m all set. Cheers!