Castlevania: Harmony of Dissonance

2025-05-26
For the first hour or two of Harmony of Dissonance I was locked the fuck in. I got the hang of Juste's wildly spammable dodge that had him reverse moonwalking over the castle like a similarly pale pop star. I was soaking up the beautiful spritework, experimenting on bosses and trash fodder alike with sub weapon and spell combinations. I was knocking back HP and MP upgrades with a chaser of grinding on high XP enemies who thought it was a good idea to spawn right next to one of those insta-full-heal save points. And above all else I was Filling That Map Out.

And then I hit the portal at the top of the tower that transports you between the two castles, a moment that is normally one of revelation and elation at discovering a whole new castle, and instead was the reveal of Harmony's true foe: tedious backtracking. Dead end, after dead end. Portals, the only tool to cut down on the tedium, hidden behind locked doors to the final section of the game. Oh you found an ability to break down these walls? Thank god. Only you realize that most of those walls have behind them not progress but another path you can't take till you have another ability. And the momentum never really recovers. There were a couple smaller sections of steady progress but eventually, eventually I'd hit another dead end and start back up the slog of backtracking--without fucking portals--before I could make another chunk of progress.

For all its wonderful art and fun bosses the pacing is just absolute dogshit. It's ironic then that the rest of the game is happy to dole out rewards and fun. You're constantly getting new items and it's far easier than Circle of the Moon which meant Juste was always getting stronger and I was never getting stuck due to difficulty spikes. But any time you find yourself running, having fun, know that Harmony's going to stick it's pixellated leg out and trip your ass. And as you're groaning on the cold cobblestone floor, it'll whisper in your ear "I'm sure there's a portal behind that stone wall all the way on the other side of the castle. Why don't you run over there and check it out eeeeehehehehe eeeeehehehe."

PS: For all the hate the soundtrack gets that name select theme goes entirely too fucking hard. That drum track is mental. But yeah then they gotta remind you why Dissonance is in the title. Fucking awful.