Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus

2025-01-11
New Colossus has probably the highest highs of MachineGames Wolfenstein entries but it also has a habit of getting in its own way when it comes to the Nazi-killing. I mean that's what we're all here for, right? Like I mentioned in my Old Blood review MachineGames have engineered a beautiful murder simulator in their Wolfenstein games with fun guns, wonderful headshots, and plenty of fascistas to chew through. It's annoying then that for much of the game after every cool set piece New Colossus feels the need to force feed us a maudlin tale of Blazkowicz's accrued miseries. Shoot some nazis on a U-boat, watch your friend get their head chopped off, shoot some nazis in a nuke-obliterated NYC, listen to some monologue about a mother and her son dying in the blast, shoot some nazis in Nazi-Americana Roswell, watch a cutscene of BJ's childhood dog being shot, his mom being beaten--on and on. The problem is this isn't Inglorious Basterds and it certainly isn't The Pianist. We have characters being dashed together in short little cutscenes and the writing ain't good enough that that's enough to make me care enough. And brother don't even get me started on Grace Walker. Even the great Debra Wilson couldn't make that character work, "ya dig"?

But listen despite emo BJ being a major drip, the nazi-blasting do be on point and the set pieces are choice. The execution at the Lincoln Memorial, Roswell New Mexico's painting of small town America after going full fascism including a hilarious scene of a Nazi soldier correcting KKK members on their German, and ahh the finale with the TV broadcast is something special.