Nubby's Number Factory

2025-10-11
It's funny I had the idea "Someone should make Peggle but Balatro" and then once I played it (Nubby's Number Factory) I was like "Yep, that's certainly a game." That is to say, just like Balatro I'm incredibly ambivalent.

Ok, sure, I love the Windows 95 of it all, all vibrant neon colors, and rounded edges and blocky spinning fonts. And absolutely I'm down with the fucked art and having items with names like "Poop Butt"--if you've read any of my reviews you'll know I'm a real Toilet Man when it comes to the humor department.

But(t), here's the thing: it's just a numbers go up game, innit? Like yeah it's fun to combine a bunch of items in various permutations to try and break the game and get a big ol' Googol score...for a bit. But I just sit there shooting Nubby down into the void for 30 minutes, round after round, my brain compulsively compelling me to "Just go again, I have another idea I want to try out" and I'm having fun in that distant sort of way and the hours are passing by and my life is passing by and why am I playing and, well, now I've uninstalled it.

It's cool man, I like it. I just don't think it's a very Good game. Like not "good" as in "I'm doing good" but like "Superman does good". I think it's unhealthy. You do you. I've done cocaine, I'm not going to judge. But yeah it's a pass from me, mate. On this whole "genre" of games, really.