Perfect Dark

2024-12-10
I don't want to talk to you about all the ways this game is incredibly dated like it's innumerable labyrinthian hallways seemingly built to confuse you or its cryptic mission objectives that you can trivially fail forcing you to restart the whole level. No I can forgive all of it because it has Elvis, one of the dumbest fucking characters I've ever seen in a game. Yes Elvis is an actual cliched gray alien and voiced by someone alternating between doing a bad Yoda impression and just a normal voice. He wears a fucking USA flag tank top in the final mission where you, as far as I can tell, genocide a race of aliens because of their religious beliefs? Rock on, that IS very USA, Elvis. Thank you, Rare.

2024-12-10
I remember the handful of kids who would constantly sing this games praises back in elementary school. And coming back to it all these years later (admittedly as a part of the Rare Replay Collection on a modern Xbox) I can see why. An insane array of guns, night and x ray vision modes, bots you could play in multiplayer and a diverse array of levels. But it's also dated heavily. Levels with innumerable labyrinthian hallways seemingly built to confuse you and elongate playtime. Cryptic mission objectives that you can trivially fail forcing you to restart the whole level. The Area 51 mission with the floating cube and scientist disguise made me want to shoot myself in the head with both firing modes.

But listen, I can forgive all of it because it has Elvis. One of the dumbest fucking characters I've ever seen in a game. Yes Elvis is an actual cliched gray alien and voiced by someone alternating between doing a bad Yoda impression and just a normal voice. He wears a fucking USA flag tank top in the final mission where you, as far as I can tell, genocide a race of aliens because of their religious beliefs? Rock on, that IS very USA, Elvis. Thank you, Rare.